Michael Jordan & 7 Ways to Listen

Pat Williams is an author, motivational speaker and senior vice president of the Orlando Magic who wrote a book called "How to Be Like Mike: Life Lessons About Basketball's Best" (link to Amazon).

I knew Michael Jordan was unusual from the second day of practice his freshman year. I was teaching some pressure defense principles and saw Michael was doing it incorrectly. I went over it with him. I thought it would take him two weeks to learn it. The next day, Michael had it down perfectly. I said, "What did you do, stay up all night studying?". He said, "Coach, I'm a good listener. I do what I'm supposed to do." -Dean Smith

There is no use even bothering with conversation if we are only preoccupied with our own concerns. The problem is that most of us don't utilize conversation the way we should- to absorb and consider the knowledge and view point of others. Instead, we filter everything through the lens of our own concerns, we worry about formulating an appropriate reply and we don't really listen.

Some simple solutions for listening more effectively:

1) Keep quiet. It signals your receptiveness.
2) Show positive non-verbal communication. Make eye contact and nod your head affirmatively.
3) Don't lead. Asking leading questions is a way of directing the conversation.
4) Resist giving advice unless they ask directly. Often, people are not searching for solutions to their problems; they just want someone to engage them.
5) Remain neutral. Don't agree or disagree, approve or disapprove.
6) Don't react defensively. If you hear something that bothers you, avoid showing it.
7) Avoid cliches. This only leads people to think you're anxious to get away from them.