The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender. -Vince Lombardi
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Top 5 regrets people have on their deathbeds
This week I have been visiting a family member whose battle with cancer is nearly finished- and, unfortunately, not with a happy ending.
He said something that really got me thinking... "they say life is hard to come into and hard to leave".
He was a WWII veteran and has been married for 62 years. It's been a difficult time, but hearing some of his advice and what he has learned has been really insightful; hence, the idea for this post.
(from Bronnie Ware)
1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people have had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.
It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.
2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.
By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.
We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.
It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have sillyness in their life again.
When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.
Friday, May 25, 2012
Quote of the Day:
"The champion wins first, then walks into the arena. Everybody else walks into the arena and then tries to figure out what to do."
— Jim Fannin
10 brainteasers that demonstrates how our thinking can fail us!
1. Johnny’s mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May. What was the third child’s name?
Johnny
2. A clerk at a butcher shop stands five feet ten inches tall and wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh?
Meat.
3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world?
Mt. Everest. It just wasn’t discovered yet.
4. How much dirt is there in a hole that measures two feet by three feet by four feet?
There is no dirt in a hole.
5. What word in the English language is always spelled incorrectly?
Incorrectly (except when it is spelled incorrecktly)
6. Billie was born on December 28th, yet her birthday always falls in the summer. How is this possible?
Billie lives in the southern hemisphere.
You can’t take a picture with a wooden leg. You need a camera (or iPad or cell phone) to take a picture.
8. If you were running a race and you passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in now?
You would be in 2nd place. You passed the person in second place, not first.
9. Which is correct to say, “The yolk of the egg is white” or “The yolk of the egg are white?”
Neither. Egg yolks are yellow.
10. A farmer has five haystacks in one field and four haystacks in another. How many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in one field?
One. If he combines all his haystacks, they all become one big stack.
Okay, some of these are a bit corny. But they all illustrate several brain idiosyncrasies that affect how we make decisions in the world.
Thanks to the way our brain works, we have a very strong tendency to see what we want to see and what we expect to see.
When we only see what we want or expect to see, we miss competitive threats because our brain tells us a threat couldn’t possibly come from that direction. We miss opportunities because we only see what has worked in the past rather than what could be.
Our brain doesn’t like information gaps, so we tend to jump at the first answer/solution that looks good rather than take the time to examine all the data. This is especially true in a world where we receive more information every day than we have time to assimilate. Finally, our brains love to see patterns and make connections. This trait serves us well in many ways as we move through the world. But the brain doesn’t always get it right.
For example, how did you answer question #1 (be honest)? For most people, the first word that pops into their head is “June,” because the brain quickly spots the April/May/June pattern. Upon re-reading the question and analyzing the data, the answer “Johnny” becomes obvious.
And what about the man with the wooden leg? Your answer depends on how you interpret “with.” Does it refer to the man with the wooden leg or to the camera? A bit of a trick question, but it clearly illustrates how the language we use shapes the way we look at the world.
Perhaps the best example of how we miss things is the egg yolk question. Everybody knows egg yolks are yellow. But the question’s phrasing puts our attention on selecting the correct verb, so we overlook an obvious piece of data and an even more obvious answer.
We can’t change how the brain works – at least not yet. Give science another 50 years and who knows what our brains will be doing! For now, we can become more aware of how our brain works, then pause from time to time to consider what we’re missing. This includes the data we’re unconsciously screening out as well as different sources of data to counterbalance what we expect to see.
Get in the habit of teasing your brain. You’ll be amazed at what you end up seeing that you didn’t see before.
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Why you will fail to have a great career...
Very intriguing 15min talk by economist Larry Smith which takes an unconventional look at what it takes to have a great career- he highlights why most people will NOT have a great career. Below are my notes and a link to the video.
Only talking to those who want a great career…some have already decided they just want a good career.
No matter how many times someone tells you “you have to pursue your passion”…you will
decide not to do it. Are you too lazy? Is it too hard? Why are you making excuses to not look
for your passion?
Top excuses:
i. Finding a great job in your passion is a matter of luck
ii. Great, passionate careers are for the genius
iii. Afraid to be “abnormally passionate”
Cannot assume that working really, really hard will give you a great career.
“Passion is your greatest love and the thing that will help you create the highest expression of your talent”
Passion is beyond interests. You must look at all alternatives to eliminate the interests and find your passion.
Some will find their passion and will still fail- because they are not going to commit to it and take action. Top excuse? You don’t want to “sacrifice” your personal relationships for your passion. A great career, a great parent, a great friend are all one in the same.
STOP BEING AFRAID TO PURSUE YOUR PASSION, TO TRY, TO LOOK RIDICULOUS, TO FAIL.
Quote of the Day:
"Remember you will not always win. Some days, the most resourceful individual will taste defeat. But there is, in this case, always tomorrow - after you have done your best to achieve success today."
— Maxwell Maltz
Friday, May 11, 2012
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